Wave of Light 2010

I have a lot to share tonight on the eve of OCT 15th.

First a reminder that tomorrow is the Wave of Light


please take that hour to remember my daughter or another child you know that a family has lost.

"Approximately 25,000 stillbirths are reported every year and represents 60% of all perinatal mortality in the US." (http://www.acog.org/from_home/publications/press_releases/nr02-20-09-2.cfm) If these babies were dying after birth it would be an epidemic. Help us raise awareness light a candle for one hour and remember these precious children.

Also My favortire parenting website published a new article

Honoring a baby who dies in pregnancy or infancy
by Julie Beer
Last updated: October 2010

Julie did a great job sharing how our family and others honor their babies.

3 years and still missing you.

This year snuck up on me, well not really, since i knew the date was on the horizon but as our daily life gets more hectic and summer came to an end getting motivated to plan something was not what we wanted. this year we got Lucy some balloons, and a green and pink bear that "sings your are my sunshine" and sways. the bear has pink wings and cheeks that glow. we spent some quite time reflecting on our three years with out this little girl in our home.

the things i miss out number the stars in the sky, but i know that she is always near me when i need to know she is safe.

I love you little girl.

Can you spare a few minutes for stillbirth?

Dear friends,

I‘m asking for some help with this issue that it is very important to me and my family.

On Aug 27, 2008 our daughter Olive Lucy Kawecki was stillborn. What a sad sentence I have written a 100s of times since that day.

I am writing to all women today because I feel that you more than anyone can understand my plea, this is a maternal child health issue and worth your time. I love my daughter very much I miss her more than words could ever convey and I am determined to make a difference in her memory. Stillbirth is as profound a loss as that of any other known to man. Some might argue the most profound.

if you can find time today or sometime in the next few days to click the links in this post and show your support for bereaved families like ours I would greatly appreciate it.


State Legislation Action Info

I’m asking you to support S.765a (Certificate of Birth Resulting in Stillbirth bill) by reaching out to your representatives today.

The Certificate of Birth Resulting in Stillbirth Bill (S.765a / A.4375) was drafted by Assemblyman Richard Gottfried, a dedicated supporter of women's rights and adopted by bill sponsor Senator William Larkin. It would give bereaved parents the option of requesting a Certificate of Birth Resulting in Stillbirth to acknowledge the birth process they have endured when a stillbirth, an unintended fetal demise occurs after 20 weeks' gestation.

From the NY Still Parents Action alert:

Just a few minutes of your time can help the passage of the NY Certificate of Birth resulting in Stillbirth bill.

Join us in telling the NY Senate Health committee to place S.765a [CBRS] on the health committee's agenda and vote on it.

The CBRS would give bereaved parents the option of requesting a Certificate of Birth resulting in Stillbirth to acknowledge the birth process when a stillbirth, an unintended fetal demise occurs after 20 weeks gestation.

Each year there are nearly 1,700 stillbirths in New York State. 25,000 in the United States.

By clicking on all (3) of the following links, your support of the NY CBRS will be sent to the Senate Health committee members.


Petition - Senate Health Chair, Thomas Duane: http://www.thepetitionsite.com/1/support---ny-certificate-of-birth-resulting-in-stillbirth-bill

Email - Senate Health Chair: http://citizenspeak.org/node/1957

Email - Senate Health Committee members: http://citizenspeak.org/node/1968

Federal Legislation action info
If you have a few more minutes there is also federal legislation that need support to Fund Research for Stillbirth, SIDS, and SUID (sudden unexplained death in children)

From the first candle action alert:

Just a few minutes of your time can help propel a movement that has the potential to save thousands of babies’ lives for future generations to come.

Please contact your Congressional leaders in the House and Senate today!

By clicking on the following link provided by the C.J. Foundation for SIDS, it will be easy to type in your zip code and automatically direct your letter to the appropriate congressional offices. You may personalize the letter or send the template as is.

http://www.votervoice.net/groups/sids


First Candle & C. J. Foundation for SIDS are joining to seek co-sponsors for S.1445 and H.R. 3212 - The Stillbirth and SUID Prevention, Education and Awareness Act.This act is sponsored by D-NJ Senator Frank Lautenberg and Congressman Frank Pallone, Jr., and is quite simply the single most promising piece of legislation crafted in the past decade to promote infant survival and address the sudden unexpected deaths of babies and young children to SIDS, SUID, SUDC and Stillbirth.

the goal is to have a minimum of 83 co-sponsors by Mothers’ Day - equivalent to the number of babies who are stillborn plus the number of babies who die of sudden unexpected infant or child death everyday here in the United States.

Please do it in honor of the babies and children whom you love in your life.

On behalf of my beautiful daughter, Olive Lucy-- who will never have a child of her own. I ask you to spread the word and ask others to help.

Thank you for the very bottom of my heart.

A wave of light, love and rememberance

Today i cried many tears not only for you my precious and perfect daughter but also for the many babies and families i have met since you slipped away from us.

Some old friends, some new and some i had long forgotten all with a bond over babies loved and lost.

grief is a tragic and sorrowful companion. The sting of child loss is like nothing i have ever known before, but along this painful road we share our stories, we hold out a hand to those beside on us along the way. As we do this we create this beautiful blanket of compassion, love and light that eases our heartache and helps us heal.

Tonight we joined millions of families across the globe when we lit our candle in memory of not just our beautiful and precious daughter, but all the babies that are missed each and every day.

If you lit a candle tonight thank you for remembering my child, my brother's lost children, my friends lost children, and all the children that left us too soon.

Where you used to be, there is a hole in the world, which I find myself constantly walking around in the daytime, and falling in at night. I miss you like hell. ~Edna St Vincent Millay

Olive Lucy - we miss you more that words can convey and love you more than air.

mom, dad and OS.

for Lucy on her 2nd Birthday

When you came into our lives we had no idea just how you would change things. we had short a short time with you. Every day was a new adventure, every momentous milestone celebrated from the mundane to the extraordinary.

we miss you each day and hope that where ever it is you are today we hope that your are having a spectacular time filled with joy and surrounded by love.

Olive Lucy Happy Birthday!

our tiny baby gone too soon.

Love,

Mommy, Daddy and little brother

Federal Legislation Action Alert: S1445/HR3212 Stillbirth and SUID Prevention, Education and Awareness Act of 2009

Hello friends it is that time again. we are asking friends and family to put pen to paper on behalf of the 26,000 babies that are stillborn and the nearly 5000 infants that die of sudden unexpected infant deaths each year ( SIDS & SUID) and 200 sudden unexpected deaths of children (SIDS in toddlers)

Thanks you for your support for this Act.

From FirstCandle.org

Legislative Action Alert | Your help is needed!
Newly Introduced Legislation will Support Education and Prevention Efforts for Stillbirth, SIDS and other Sudden, Unexpected Infant Deaths (SUID)

First Candle Press Release | Full Text of Bills: S1445, HR3212 | Fact Sheet | Sample Letter


First Candle is pleased to announce that the Stillbirth and SUID Prevention, Education and Awareness Act of 2009 was filed on July 14 by Senator Frank Lautenberg, D-NJ. A companion bill was filed in the House by Frank Pallone, Jr., D-NJ-6. This bill would improve the collection of critical data to determine the causes of stillbirth, SIDS and SUID, increase education and awareness about how to prevent these tragedies in the future and expand support services for families who have experienced a stillbirth, SIDS or SUID loss.
Every year there are more than 25,000 stillbirths in the United States. For more than half these deaths there is no known cause, leaving parents with more questions than answers as to why the baby died. The bill would expand activities to identify the causes of stillbirth, identify ways to prevent it in the future and increase education and awareness about the issue among healthcare providers and parents.
In addition, there are more than 4,600 sudden unexpected infant deaths each year (including SIDS) and 200 sudden unexpected deaths of children between the ages of one and four. This bill encourages states to complete scene investigations to better understand why these children died, establishes a national database to track these deaths and identify risk factors to prevent them in the future, supports more comprehensive reviews and creates a national public awareness campaign to educate parents and caregivers.
We hope you will join us in supporting this legislation.

Please help by contacting your representative in the House and two Senators within the next week, urging them to co-sponsor this important bill.

The more co-sponsors the bill gets, the more likely it is to pass quickly through the House and Senate.

Participating in First Candle’s letter-writing campaign is easy!
Visit www.house.gov to get contact information for the Congressman in your District. You will need your 9-digit zip code. If you do not know your 4 digit extension, you can get it at http://zip4.usps.com/zip4/welcome.jsp. You will then be able link directly to your Representative’s website.
Visit www.senate.gov to get contact information for your state's two Senators. Simply select your state from the drop down menu to connect to your Senators’ websites.
We encourage you to call your representatives directly, or set up an appointment to meet with them face-to-face. Writing a letter or sending an email can be effective as well. Emails can be sent directly through your representatives’ websites.
We have provided a Fact Sheet about the bill, as well as a sample letter to help guide you.
Whether you are writing a letter or speaking with your representatives directly, be sure to include your personal story.
First Candle would love to receive a copy of your letter or an email detailing your conversation with your representatives for our files.
Members of Congress rely on input from their constituents to help them better understand what issues are important to those they serve. Help give our babies a voice!

Please feel free to contact Laura Reno, 800.221.7437 or laura.reno@firstcandle.org with any questions you may have.

20 months

on April 27 i began to write a poem about what 20 month without you was like it has vanished into the universe.

so here i am today trying to find it and nearly giving up. 

when i found it. once again i am amazed at your power to remind me that we are ALWAYS together you and i.

Olive Lucy my precious beauty i miss you very much.

for Olive Lucy on her 20 month birthday. 

twenty months have come and gone

i can not believe it's been this long

seasons have passed and will come again

we still cry but we try to be strong

we carry you close, 'tis not a strain

you reside not on this plane

but in our hearts for evermore

our precious girl and her dark curly mane

you opened a small door

within my heart, it is you i'll always adore

how i wish that  you where here today

and not residing on a universally distant shore

still feels like 'twas just yesterday 

that you  first took my breath away

with your long lean limbs, and musky smelling hair

you are with me everyday

in the air, everywhere

you compel me to share

your beautiful peaceful light and love

which has saved me from despair

we often speak of 

your special soul above

it been too long

our sweet girl Olive 

twenty months have come and gone

we can not believe it's been this long

seasons have passed and will come again

we still cry but we try to be strong

we love you little girl,

momma, dad and OS